I'm a troubled kid. I have things I don't talk about. I never will. No one else will know. They never will. There're more than meets the eye..
I may seem to be a preety normal child. But if you look deeper into my eyes, there're despicable sorrows. Its not that I'm asking for symphaty nor to be symphatized!

I am lonesome. I feel left out at home. Is it, because I'm the only, and the last son? I certainly do not think thats a problem. I never did. I doubt I will ever forget everything that were hammered into the thick skull of mine. The only time I really feel free and content is when I'm around with certain people, and you know, basketball releases me from my cage. I feel free! Escaped from "that" ... Again. I'm not asking for anything.

Friends are still friends. They're guys. Guys never share problems with a guy. Before you know it, you're part of a laughing matter, including yourself laughing yourself away. "SHE" knows what was going on in the past few years. Maybe by now, "SHE" has already forgotten. "SHE" was the shoulder to cry on. Thank you. One thing for certain. I have changed from years to years. Experiences in life told me to be wary of everything and everyone;
to be sharp. I'm not being a paranoid. I HATE paranoids.
I've tried to talk to the counsellors. I know it makes no difference. I never did.
I kept as lowly as possible. Keeping to myself. Sometimes, I tend to just blow off!
I didn't want it to happen. Makes you being hated and pushed away by everyone.

You just can't go around making friends. Now you undo the friendship?! You're so bright to me. I know you are reading this. You will. TELL! Is it so hard to tell someone you're wrong? It hurts even more if it falls on deaf ears. I'm not putting the blame on anyone.

Stares? Ignorace? Pushed aside?! If something is not right, we talk till we got it right! You just can't, run away? Have you?
Sigh. What does it feel if I am putting my feet on your head?
I put myself in your shoes! IN YOURS!
You taken it lightly when I wanted your attention. You, you and you are so troublesome.

I'm not crazy. I'm not emo. I hate emo. I declare myself normal. I'm only 17.
There are so much more to see out there. God damn it. I am funny. Yes I am funny. If you don't believe. Try me.
I can be aggresive if I'm provoked. I'll be free to smack that smile off that face if provoked. Especially that guy from my school. So gonna get it.

I apologize if I have threatened any bloggers with my rudeness and any foul languages concerned. In malay we say, "Siapa makan cili, dia rasa pedas" or what-so-ever. I cut short and call it "terasa".

Sorry.