If you still not notice, I'm always here,
in your Shadows.

I'm still waiting, I'll be waiting. Will it be a rejection or acceptance, I don't give a damn. I want ANSWERS! I want TRUTH! Its been 3 long years when I first saw you.
If you really care then SHOW it!
If you really appreciate then PROVE it!

We are like STRANGERS to the outside world. Just ignorance, No tolerance.

What happened?
Is it me who started it?
Or was it you, who did not play along?
I've given all the attention.
Have you ever thought of that somebody who is always there for you? Watching you?
Praying that he'll grab the attention from you.
That somebody's me.




Annually, the month of November will come and go. Oh look the (fool) is already head over heels about it. Before the clock struck 12 at midnight, he is waiting, wishing he would be the special one, the first to make her an eventful yet mesmerizing day.Guess what? He eventually did.
He was glad to have seen her so happy.He was glad.

Ironically, on the month of July, where was she? He, the foolish boy was waiting. Hoping the girl of his dreams will actually greet him. The foolish boy thought maybe he asked for too much. He just wants a greeting from her, and that is something more than enough. Still, no sign of her when the clock struck 12 midnight. No sign day one, nor day two, neither day three. He was sad, really sad. Filled with disappointment and sadness. Day four came and passed like any other days. He is still waiting.Wondering all those things he had done. Were there any wrongs? Day five came, she apologized. The foolish boy was already trying to forget about it. He was yet disappointed again real deep this time. She asked, "are you mad?" The foolish boy did not wanna show his disappointment and so he replied "No, everything is alright. I'm fine. Its just a birthday, everyone forgets my birthday. No big deal." She took it lightly, thinking it was a joke, not a clue or a sign. He did not intent to hurt her, not a bit. At the end of the day, the boy was cloudy all the way. He was unhappy, moody and did not respond. He thought it was a 'give and take situation'. He was wrong; so wrong. He hurt himself instead. What an idiot. But hold on, she really thought he was alright. *Phew*
Deep down under, his hert was shattered into pieces. So painful that it will never heal. Till now, he keeps tellig himself,"look at yourself, you asked too much, you're obsessed. There is no way she has feelings for you. Why would she? Its only mere 3 years holding on and SHE KNOWS IT! SHE knew HE had feelings for her ever since they met. Why?!
After all those things he had done, time he had spent, sacrifices he had made, was it less than perfection? It is what he is capable of. She did not understand.
She did not took notice of him. He thought so. Maybe he was never there. Who knows?


All along the foolish boy can only tell himself, "I choose to love you in silence, for in silence I find no rejection." That foolish boy too has shedded tears for her.



That foolish boy is me.

There's no sunshine & Rainbows
EVERYDAY
The world is mean & Cruel
It does NOT matter how many HITS you gave,
it MATTERS how many hits you have TAKEN.
Those hits are the ones you will remember FORVER;
that will trigger the inner YOU to keep GOING on.


The older you get, the more we have to LEAVE behind.
Now, thats LIFE.
We BLAME others when we fall. When and how will we ever learn to
stop blaming others whereas to point the finger at ourselves?
They ARE coward! YOU are COWARD!
Well me, I just learned something. "Be grateful for those
have made you suffer, for they have make me knowledgable."
No moatter how hard, how flat we fall, we MUST get UP to carry on;
coz' thats the way of life, mean and cruel as the way it always have been ....

Fireworks ignited the Bird's Nest dring the closing ceremony of the Olympics Beijing 2008. The ceremony is over; the Beijing Olympics are over. The President of the Olympics board hand over the official Olympic flag to the mayor of London. Well, as the commentator said, London had alot of things to be done if they wants to compete with China. My advice for them? Better start rehearsing IMMEDIATELY! XD
Oh oh oh! Leona Lewis sang *I don't know what song* on the iconic transforming double decker London bus. Whats a party without David Beckham? Hahs! He kicked the ball as the symbol of welcoming everyone to the Olympics London 2012. Some chinese freak recovered the ball as if he had never seen a football before or they can't get enough of him, I'm not too sure. How ironic. I will do that too! XD
The olympics hymn was sung by a group of bright talents consist of 226 children. Which I think the hymn was really great! It was loud and clear and very entertaining perhaps? C'mon they are just kids at least the age scaling between 7 to 11. I'm SERIOUS! The big topic was, how is London going to top Beijing?!
Obviously, Beijing set the bar real high. Now its up to London to set the bar even higher! I'm sure London have assets of their own as the currency is quite high! XD
They have great singers in London don't they? Maybe most of the opening ceremony in London will be just singing rather than defying gravity like how China did. Well, we just have to wait. They have singers like Leona, (if The Beatles were still alive), and uhm .. well there's more. XD
If you people do not know who is the guitarist, his from the Led Zeppelin.
Here in Beijing, both the opening and closing ceremony was spectacular! Histories were made right here in Asia, Beijing.
Credits to the USA Michael Phelps for being the greatest olympian of all time. Usain Bolt of Jamaica made history as well. As his name clearly tells us that "BOLT" there's no wonder his the fastest man on earth. With ease, he won the gold medal for the 100m and 200m with a world recored time. 9.69 seconds in 100m. DAMN!
The pole vault, Yelena Isanbayeva, *correct me SAM* written her name in the history book for herself being the women's highest pole vaulter. WOW. I wish I could perform on the world stage. My idol, the Spaniard from the Spain basketball team NO.6.
He's only 17! YES! 17!!! Argghhhh! He's name is errr Ruby Rubio. Go wiki him!
Not forgetting those artistic yet so creative and flexible gymnastics. *Two thumbs up!*
Finally my style of concluding the olympics, this is an extraordinary olympics in Beijing. As the Chinese Political Leader said, "China learn more about the world, and the world learn more about China." Great speeches! Wooohooo! XD. ( I wished I could be there to be first to witness history in the making ). How unfortunate of me. Ishhhh! One day. One day! muahahaha!


Its me Ian your blogger, signing off early as the hectic schooling days continue.
I wanna take this opportunity to wish everyone all the best in their trials no matter where and who you are. Good Luck! May the lucky stars guide you thru'! XD
CheeRs! :)

I assumed we starians had fun on the night of 21st of August having barbeque! except for my friends like May & Teng. I apologize for the neglection and making both of being lost between both worlds. So so sorry okieee. Won't happen the next time if I'm having such occasions in the near future. And yupp, I wanna say it out LOUD if you're reading this, I wanna thank Yunn Teng alot as she never disappoint me before.
She's a lady of her word! And thats what I like about her! I told her that & she was totally blurred thinking I was high on alchohol or something. XD
And uhm the one that made all the way here to Chi Liung frm Telok Gong, I wanna say thanks for your support by roasting & buying the bacon and making the barbeque party into a competition. XD
Ooo.Jarrod & SoonKeat made a good job on barbequing the chicken wings! My mom and dad gave compliments as the wings weren't totally burned.Hahs!:) Hey! Wait must be the marinade one did a FANTASTIC job too! HAHAHA!
Lastly I wanna thank to all beautiful ladies, you were all beautiful ladies in all shapes and sizes THAT night eventhough some of you complained that the smoke will filth your hair and clothes. I don't care. All of you sparkled during the camwhore session which I, myself took part in it too! XD

Its me Ian, signing of for the night.
CheeRs.

The best thing about tonight’s that we’re not fighting
It couldn’t be that we have been this way before
I know you don’t think that I am trying…..
I know you’re wearing thin down to the core…

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind

Or I won’t live to see another day
I swear its true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You’re impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you that I would never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start

Oh, But hold your breath

Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It’s impossible to find

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I’m yours to keep

And hold onto your words
‘Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you’re asleep

Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find

Tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I won’t live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You’re impossible to find

I have fallen for her for the first time I met her.
Her red eyes & red cheeks caught my eyes the first time I looked into her deep eyes.
The smile, hah, its beyond my imagination.
I'm confused,
If you like somebody, go ahead, tell her how you feel is what my friends said to me.
I'm such not worthy.
Its more than a crush I'm sure.
Everytime I think of her, My heart beats faster.
How can I stop all the insanity?
When will be the night? When will I brace myself for you one last time?
I'm just a coward it seems.
If I ever get to see you again,It'll be the happiest day in my life to see you smile.
All I know to say is, I Choose to Love You In Silence, For In Silence I find No Rejection.
I'm such a loser.
Yes I am.

Here's what I've got myself into for the past 3days dated on the 15th - 17th.
Here goes nothing.

15th - I couldn't believe I woke up on the "misty" friday morning "happily". As excited as I am that its already a weekend, that morning I realized I was going for the sport Science camp scheduled in Sg.Gading(somewhere) :)
Being an active school boy *ahem* with no surat amaran for the past 5years yet, I went to school before the camp. FYI, the camp was scheduled at time 1430 (supposedly). =='.
I can't believe I went to school that particular day to waste my time there instead being at home leisurely. Particular that FRIDAY, Pn Sariah (Eng) did not enter. *Fine*. Accounts, Pn Wong. Well, you knowwwww meeee. XD. BREAKKKKKK! muahahahaha!
Makan makan time. Then p.Moral, Pn Sariah.(smiley teacher!) did not enter class. I was like woooo. Okieee. Is this for real? Then, my ponteng devil came to my left ear telling me its time to skip the last period of lesson as well. Ironically, I accepted and followed. (once in a while laaa okiieeee). My peeps and I consist of boys and girls. We eventually found the so called 'pondok' and made it into a clubHouse in No time. Girls guys, all sama sama. G-O-S-S-I-P. ( That includes me ) XD
And, guess what? Maths teacher was absent too. That that "thing" luckily skipped class today as "it" is very very annoying with broken english & yet critisizing us Chinese! Currrrrrse you!! XD (Sam way to Go! Woohooo)
The day goes on after school after gossiping. Went lunch with MrMok,MrLim,MrTan,MrPhuah. Hahaha! We went to Bayu's Cheong Foh. I met the f2 girl Jessica with her dad & mum. She was staring at me like I'm a sasquatch or something ya know. Damn. I ignored and act dumb as the way I am. XD
Okieee. Lets fast forward people. (>>)


And here we are. ( |> )*FYI, its a play button* hahaha!
I waited "eagerly" for the bus to come. They said 1430 was the time. 1430!
I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And waited. (babi siall, mana bas ni?!!)
And. A bus spotted. My prayers were answered.
Wait. Its not OUR bus, its Pandamaran Jaya's bus. GodDamnit.
......


And waited.
Yellow long banana-look-alike with wipers on the front windscreen. I know this time, the Gods had enough with my prayers and decided to give me a chance! XD
The time. 1645. Yes people. 1645. Do your math.
Okiee. I grumbled to myself cursing along the way. Finally I settled down.
As soon as I arrived at the campsite. It was already dusk. Nothing can be done during that hour. We were quickly seperated into different tents, and the best part is you get to choose your tent-mates!Woooo. (Nehh, nothing boastful about that).
My peeps and I were the last to be placed in the camp. We thought it would be an awful site. So we sat quietly and "patiently". As time goes by, people around us too. XD. FINALLY! Our patience paid off. "Abang abang mari mari" were the words uttered perfectly from his lips. hahaha! Everyone had 7 people in their tents whereas me only 5 people. Wakaka!
Nothing much there really. At first I regretted. My 1st night dinner.Okiee la. Forgotten ate what already and don't wanna remember anyway. :)
Then, the main what should I say, the MUST-HAVE gathering taklimat. Everyon's fav part of the camp. HahahA! *No, not me*. That Ex-Commando Anuar/Anwar (any possible spelling) At first, I hated him by the way he talked. This that here there anywhere has rules. Not coz of the rules okiee I hated him. His style that is. XD
Bla bla bla bla. As he goes on. As the more he talked I find his very very funny.
"Hai kawan kawan". << The quote I picked up along the camp! HAHAHA!
It goes on. And we went for the "long-awaited NIGHT WALK". As slamba as I can be, I walked and uttered some prayers. (I'm not what you think I am). ==" I'm just playing safe and do according what I've learned in life.
The annoyance along the way was the order Take Cover! and that tembikai fellow with that SLR camera with bright bright bright FLASH he used on us. DumbArse!
During that time, that walk thing. My eyes were already semi-opened! XD
Really laaa too tired d. Hahs! It last till the early morning at 3+ I think.
Oh, before that. To reach to your camp site, you have to walk with 3 people instead of the earlier one long stretch consist of 150+ people. Instead to scare us, we took it the other way round and make it entertaining. =="
When you're leaving 3 in a group that is, along the way the facilitators were all hiding behind those bushes and make funny noises and poses! XD
Eventhough I'm night-blinded I still can see "them". I hoped what I've seen so far were factual and sci-fi !! XD
Easy-task! XD Glad to make it. Tidurrrr...

16th(Saturday)

Longest day yet. Woke up kinda late but managed to clean myself. We were already divided into groups yesterday. 3 groups respectively consist of 50+ ppl. =="
Firstly, do you remember when you watched 'The Dark Knight' the scene where The Joker makes a try out? Its something like that. NO EXECUTION-NO PUTTING THAT SMILE ON THAT FACE. No not that. Just try outs. XD where the shortest stick will go jungle-trekking with Mr.Komodo aka The Commander. Self-proclaimed MrKomodo. I considered ourself blessed, we got the wettest yet exciting activity at the first try. Tube rafting! During the rafting, everyone have to wait for their turn. As everyone are waiting for their turn, guess where are our seats? XD. Lets just say its the cold icy water of the flowing river at the time 0845. Yes, theres too many people were shivering. Nope I did not, as I have my tembikai to protect me! XD
As my I decided to give it a try on tube rafting, it was actually really fun and filled with excitement! You guys all know whats a tube rite. I assumed you all know what is it. Okieee.After my turn, its someone else's turn. And back to the soaking, woohhooo! (NOT). We're ordered that every activities will take 2 hours and the half.
So we sat very quietly, and waited for 52 people to finish. Emphasize on the word "quiet". Coz the water was darn freaking cool.
Finally, we're done! The next activity, jungle trekking with MrKomodo. =='
Well there are a few exciting activities we did during our jungle trekking. We did this err basic rafting. I find it is really exciting eventhough it gives your bottom a good rocking! XD. It goes like this, firstly you place yourself in the fastest current above the rocks and lay yourself down. Posture straight and RELAX! And wahlah there you go. Bang bang boom boom on your ass. Like those swing in the playground ya know. Get the picture?
Next up, we learn about survival. Woooo. Hahs! The MrKomodo taught us about how to survive in the jungle if your're lost. Yes. I find it really useful. He taught us how to smartly pick a leaf and eat. Coz leaf and water is all we get in the jungle in case you're lost. I will remember this survival tips. Thanks reptile! XD
Onwards, we're just trekking our way home to have lunch. Along the way, little did I realize that I was stucked by a leech. Ewww. I did not realize after I reached to my campsite. My arm was bleeding non-stop. It bled so terrible even the wound was only a timid dot. It kept bleeding and Shaqira said it was a leech bite. I was like ooo, okiee leech. No pain No gain! XD. Makan time! Makan makan. As I was going to collect my food, I saw a few ladies from Confucion. Wow. That school is close to heaven. Nehh. Not really.
After lunch, our final and last activity of the day. The long awaited high rope element, Flying Fox. I find that this activity is the most boring yet longest waiting queue ever. As I was waiting, I slept first then I woke up. Alif and I got into something. Our hands grew itchier and we decided that its 'menjolok' time!
FYI, our campsite are surrounded with fruitful trees such as durian,'pulasan',mangosteen,nangka/cempedak not sure either which is which.
Both us jolok and jolok with a long bamboo stick and its wahlah -usaha tangga kejayaan- Kejayaan mestilah bertangga. Those were the wisdom statement from Alif.
And blah la some even said that menjolok involved in Daya Tahan Otot. Which involves mendongak muscle as we need to look up long enough to search for fruits and jolok it.
Phew. Finally la. It all ended peacefully. Everyone is safe for the activities.
And we headed back to our camp to take shower and prepare for dinner.
Tonights activity, performance from every group. We did drama. That fucked up Zairul, acting his a director or producer. Ask do this do that. Fuck.
At night, when some of us had change of minds. Zairul was pissed and I was peace.
I am REBELIOUS! hahahaha! Some group members said they wanted to sing. And wahlah we did not sing at the end but drama.==" He got the last laugh.Ya he certainly did.
We did not practice, no nothing. Me and Shaqira just did everything spontaneously.
See the talents *ahem*. I deserve some recognition! XD
And as all the groups performed theirs with their own unique way and style, I thought this night will end early as I was very very tired. Some participants just fall flat, some speechless. Well, you guys are not mentally challenged enough! *bangga sial*. Those facilitators suggested that we should berbalas pantun. This Zairul showing off his "so called SKILLS" such Show off. But I have to admit that his SHIT are good.
Anyway, they dragged it till 0030. As healthy and semangat, I disturbed this 4v2 girl which I do not know her name. She ignored me coz she's very tired too. Haihs. I was left alone stupidly listening to their pantun. Phew, finally they spitted their magic words. Anda boleh minum skrg dan lepas tu kembali berkumpul. We....... Vowed Never to return.

17th(Finally)

My stay here is about to end.
We did some jogging early morning. Next, we were told we're going to learn to cook with just a packet of flour and salt if we're ever trapped in a jungle with these.
And off we go to the campfire prepared down the river stretch.
Here are 8th simple steps to make something contained yeast!


First Step: Do the dough.
Secondly:Make it into balls.XD
Thirdly:Find a stick. Peel off the skin.
Fourth:Take a flour ball and play with it like a plasticine.
Fifth:Make it thin enough and roll it to make it like a snake.
Sixth:Roll it around your stick.
Seven:Barbeque it!
Eighth:Taste like roti naan! XD

After all that stuff, we're ordered to go back and pack our stuff and take a shower!
Wooo! "Group hugs in the shower". This time our shower is abit different. We are joined by our teacher EnSazli! He's like high on weet or something. We all played how long can everyone hold their breath. Sazli was cheating la this la that la. His expressions were really funny. Especially that wicked laugh of his! XD
Was very fun la really.
Then off to lunch and packed my bags for good. Everyone gathered at the hall with their luggages respectively. Its farewell for the sport science camp batch 08.
I've seen alot of people made new friends and take handphone numbers! Yeah sad but true I did that too. XD
We loaded our stuff on the truck and off we go by turns.
We bid farewell to everyone as we left. We all entered our bus and the malays muttered some prayers for a safe journey ahead and OFF we go HOME!




Overall. I think I've learned alot. Especially on how to give emergency assistance such as CPR , DrABC and TOTAPS.
CPR=Cium,Peluk,Raba! XD
And I give this camp rating 3.5 out of 5.

........ Freaking awesome.
People out there, are you all watching this 4 years once event not? OR are you guys nerding already for SPM? GOshhh. Make me feel sooo bad and leftout for being not nerding.
Damn, what can I say. The opening ceremony was superb. Plus, here's a trivia for you guys. > How many African countries you heard before < Have you heard of Mali? Gunuea? I was like damn, no wonder there're so few. XD
But seriously peeps, there're more than 10 African countries which I never ever heard about in my 17 years of living!
Beijing Beijing. China China. Look how backwards you were and how forward you have achieved.

I can't forget you, but how could you?
It is unfair if I'm the only one being affected.
Where were you when I needed company?
I am there for you, I was and I did.
There's only a way now.
Make me hate you, so I can forget about you.
Usually, we greeted each other. We barely keep in touch at all.
It hurts me deep and I know this wound will never heal.
You smiled and turned as if nothing ever happened.
I was lost and all I could do is to keep it to myself.
Please.
Hate ME.
HATE ME!

Hey, to all SPM candidates of 2008, I'm here to killJoy!
SPM is 100 days away.

"What the fuck have you done lately?"