I was here before. This situation has been a numb to me. The noise, the voice, the commotion. It's not the first neither it will be the last.
How long more can I take this? Dad always asks me to keep my cool. My temper is killing me from inside out. But dad, everyone has a limit. I understand that her condition is that way and I don't blame God or mom. But this must not continue further. I am growing up and people live people die. I asked myself, people die everyday, why don't you? I hate her so much. She has been a shame. Nothing but a pitiful piece of shit. Seriously, I am old enough to act. When shit happens, both of you asked me to lock myself in my room. I used to cry and asked if God ever exist, if HE do exist why is HE doing this? Mom & dad is getting old . I am not a good son neither am I a bad son. Sometimes, I just couldn't take this anymore. Who to share my problems with?
I've tried to talk to counselors but I just couldn't be brave enough. I tried to talk to my friends, I'm afraid they will leave me because of my situation. I'm embarrassed to have this happening to me. I have been living in this way since I was a kid. Home sweet home ae? I fucking hate that phrase so.
These tears, will they stop rolling down my cheeks ever? I told myself I've changed, left the past behind, but past never leave me behind. This shit must not go on.
I need a ear that will not run away from me for am I embarrassing myself.