I'm only writing this post now is for a friend of mine. No names shall be mentioned. If anyone of you out there knows what am I talking about, please, keep it to yourself. I just wanna respect for the friend of mine. Please understand and appreciate.
You see, I am very saddened by the friend of mine. She have this depression which I have wiki-ed it across the web.


In the fields of psychology and psychiatry, the terms depression or depressed refer to both expected and pathologically chronic or severe levels of sadness, perceived helplessness, disinterest, and other related emotions and behaviours. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) states that a depressed mood is often reported as being: "depressed, sad, hopeless, discouraged, or 'down in the dumps'." In traditional colloquy, "depressed" is often synonymous with "sad," but both clinical and non-clinical depression can also refer to a conglomeration of more than one feeling. Such a mixture can include (but is not limited to) anger, fear, anxiety, despair, guilt, apathy, and/or grief, in addition to what many people would describe as typical "sadness."


Thats what depression really means. Seriously, she was a bright student. Very talented indeed and beautiful with snow-white skin. She had friends. No one knew what happened. She's alone everywhere she goes. Everyone was sad to see her in that state. No one likes to see their friend to be in this way. I really feel pity and useless for not being close to her. The least everyone can do, might help her.
It was too late now. Those who were or are her true friends, this is the time for you to be around her.
I can't continue no more. I feel like a useless garbage for all I am only blogging now and not really moving to go help her out or share.

Its been two straight nights I'm in the insomnia state.
Guess the doc was right I am an insomniac after all.
Basically, insomniac is like your mind is not tired while you are physically all worn out but you can't go to sleep. Thats why I have huge panda eyes if many of you are wondering. XD
Hopefully tonight will not be the same. Pleassseee! Enough already with this state!
I just wanna go to sleeepppp. ZzzzzZZzzz

If I've hurt anyone out there, threathened, I apologize.
I appreciate every single day since the day I've known you.
If I quit now, I'll be a quitter. Then, it will always be.
The door is always open. I know. I'm too afraid to take another step into your front door anymore. I'm sorry. Maybe, I will never even appear in your stepping stones to your door either. You were a friend. Smiley friend. And you will forever be a friend of mine. I hope you do too. Well, this is life. We live on. Maybe the near future, things would change, I hope. But hey, I'm so so glad that I have met you in my life.
I hope I certainly made a small impact on you. Ya know, whether it was a bad one or the worse. :)
The days are for sure gone. I pray for your success in everything.
You're certainly a good pal. Its more than enough to be your only ordinary pal. :)


CheeRs!

I'm a troubled kid. I have things I don't talk about. I never will. No one else will know. They never will. There're more than meets the eye..
I may seem to be a preety normal child. But if you look deeper into my eyes, there're despicable sorrows. Its not that I'm asking for symphaty nor to be symphatized!

I am lonesome. I feel left out at home. Is it, because I'm the only, and the last son? I certainly do not think thats a problem. I never did. I doubt I will ever forget everything that were hammered into the thick skull of mine. The only time I really feel free and content is when I'm around with certain people, and you know, basketball releases me from my cage. I feel free! Escaped from "that" ... Again. I'm not asking for anything.

Friends are still friends. They're guys. Guys never share problems with a guy. Before you know it, you're part of a laughing matter, including yourself laughing yourself away. "SHE" knows what was going on in the past few years. Maybe by now, "SHE" has already forgotten. "SHE" was the shoulder to cry on. Thank you. One thing for certain. I have changed from years to years. Experiences in life told me to be wary of everything and everyone;
to be sharp. I'm not being a paranoid. I HATE paranoids.
I've tried to talk to the counsellors. I know it makes no difference. I never did.
I kept as lowly as possible. Keeping to myself. Sometimes, I tend to just blow off!
I didn't want it to happen. Makes you being hated and pushed away by everyone.

You just can't go around making friends. Now you undo the friendship?! You're so bright to me. I know you are reading this. You will. TELL! Is it so hard to tell someone you're wrong? It hurts even more if it falls on deaf ears. I'm not putting the blame on anyone.

Stares? Ignorace? Pushed aside?! If something is not right, we talk till we got it right! You just can't, run away? Have you?
Sigh. What does it feel if I am putting my feet on your head?
I put myself in your shoes! IN YOURS!
You taken it lightly when I wanted your attention. You, you and you are so troublesome.

I'm not crazy. I'm not emo. I hate emo. I declare myself normal. I'm only 17.
There are so much more to see out there. God damn it. I am funny. Yes I am funny. If you don't believe. Try me.
I can be aggresive if I'm provoked. I'll be free to smack that smile off that face if provoked. Especially that guy from my school. So gonna get it.

I apologize if I have threatened any bloggers with my rudeness and any foul languages concerned. In malay we say, "Siapa makan cili, dia rasa pedas" or what-so-ever. I cut short and call it "terasa".

Sorry.

James Morrison is back with his new album which is his second. Songs For You, Truths For Me. If you're a fan of soulful-folklore genre, then look no further James Morrison is here! XD.
He's got a brand new look too. Which I think he looks much better than before. More stylish and kick-ass look perhaps? LOL.
Maybe many of you had the chance to listen to his first released song from the album, You Make It Real . If you had not, well you better do now!
Here's his new album cover. Songs For You, Truths For Me.



P.s: Jay Chou has released his album already. Make your booking in Popular Book Stores, its cheaper. :) My my, can't wait to get the album for myself. But I'm soooooo B-R-O-K-E! If I'm not mistaken this album is entitled Capricorn? Arghh! I hate myself! XD
Unfortunately, I only heard 'dao xiang'. Being a very big fan of him, I am kinda embarrassed to have only listened one new track. Sobs. And its in YouTube. *How sad is that?!* Hold on Jay, I'm saving $$$ to support your new album. It will be my fifth collection! Muahahahaha!
So so sorry. No album art on this one! I'll guess I just randomly put one to show RESPECT!

Well, basically when the school reopens, I expected nothing, really.
Hmmm. Some of them got themselves "groomed", while others just being the plain-same. :)
You see, my words may be harsh but I really mean no harm. If anyone of you had know me better, you never feel offended. I mean c'mon, I'm only aggresive if I am provoked. The ding dong in ya' head must been ringing huh? LOL.

Can I say that this year 2008 wasn't a good year for me? I've got every trouble from every party. Man, its chaotic!!
Let me see, I tore my ligaments early in the year, .... some family problems to deal with, hmmm... friendships as well? Now thats ironic. Academically my results did not turned out what I "wished" for. Dang! I am giving up already. I can't take anymore lectures. I am really trying. I just can't. Sorry I had failed you Pn.Wong.
You're a blessed teacher. Blessed with dedication and patience. I could not fulfill what you expected me to be. Sorry Pn.Wong.

I hate exams. I think students should not be graded through examinations. I think it is very unfair. Try to think. All of us had been reading, not studying for trials. Yes yes. I am so right. Each and everyone of us had leaked questions. Now what do we do? We read what is coming out for the following day. Now thats reading. :) Another reason I hate exams? Hmm. People tend to be more competitive. Trying to show what they have in the "noodles". Yeah right. You can have all the noodles you want, if you never have the attitude, you're nothing but still garbage. Fool.

Si Erng, stay calm. Don't boast. Don't be proud. Stay the same. Hold your angst.
Don't lose yourself! Please.

Happy 17th Birthday Beverly! :)
Stay smiley and cheerful all the time gurl! XD
As I said before, I wished I had known you a long time before. :)
Sorry that the gift can't be delivered on time and by first-hand. Loved to. Hahaha.
Text to me as soon you got it aight? So that I know my flaws in choosing a gift!
Here's an imaginary "cake"! :)

Happy 17th Birthday Bev!